As you travel this road with your loved one who is pregnant, I'm guessing your head is spinning and you have many feelings you are trying to understand. It's okay: There is no wrong way to support the one you love who will give birth soon. But sometimes it is good to understand where she's coming from so you have a better grasp on what to expect when the big day comes. As your doula, I will listen to your needs as well as your pregnant partner. Your feelings and experiences with birth will show me your comfort level and knowledge base. I will strive to fill in the pieces of the puzzle as we walk along supporting each other. I apologize as I may ask you personal questions to get to know you and how you think about things. This is important to me as a doula and someone who wants to give full support emotionally and educationally. I do not expect you to know it all, or know anything for that matter. I want to give you all the support you need in you supporting your partner. Let's journey together. Traci
How you support your partner's pregnancy & birth
Your role throughout this process is:
Validate your partner's feelings and wishes
Be ready to listen to her fears (put the "uh-huh" on repeat if needed)
Voice your concerns and questions to your doula. She will talk you through them and help you get comfortable
Find your job (There maybe more than one.)
Your role during the pregnancy:
Your role during the birth:
Communicating with the doula
You can't fix anything in birth. You are a partner. She leans on you for support, security, and love through life. It's the same through pregnancy and birth. She needs your love, security in her decisions and support through them. She is looking for you to be okay. Your are her strength. Find how to hold her up during this time. If you don't know, ask your doula. One of my favorite births ever was mom on the birth ball and dad sitting behind her. He wasn't touching her because she was sensitive to touch, but the words from his heart after every contraction made all the difference in her labor. He would say, "I love how you labor, you are beautiful...I love you...you are the strongest woman I know." She needed to hear that, in the end, Dad knew he couldn't do what she was experiencing. All relationships are different. Open communication will help with preparing for the big day. It's okay to be unsure, nervous, or foggy about the whole thing. Your doula will guide you through the process fitting in pieces and reducing fears. You are going to do a great job!!
To all the expecting fathers out there … find a doula like Traci... I am so glad to have Traci as my wife’s birth doula for her first pregnancy! Traci is extremely knowledgeable, professional, patient, and kind; and she has been a tremendous help still months before our daughter’s birth. -Brandon S.
Nothing on the Maternal Instincts website is meant to be medical or legal advice. Maternal Instincts will always refer birthing families to consult with their individual healthcare providers for their medical care.